Thursday, March 16th, 2006
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7:04 pm - drop dead
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Backwords words, he got em
Shut up, I'm talking
This time, you'll listen
But when I look at you you're forgiven
You drive, too fast and
I smoke, too much and
My heart, is broken
But when I look at you you're forgiven
You're forgiven
I know my ex-boyfriend lies
Oh he does it every time
It's just his permanent disguise
Yeah yeah but he's drop dead gorgeous
Don't go changing every time
Not for me to comprimise
You're still a friend of mine
Yeah yeah and you're drop dead gorgeous
Yeah - end of, stop sulking
Get out, you're walkin
Too bad, I've spoken
But when I look at you you're forgiven
Your lies, don't want em
Drop dead, not joking
This thing, is broken
But when I look at you you're forgiven
You're forgiven
I know my ex-boyfriend lies
Oh he does it every time
It's just his permanent disguise
Yeah yeah but he's drop dead gorgeous
Don't go changing every time
Not for me to comprimise
You're still a friend of mine
Yeah yeah and you're drop dead gorgeous
I know my ex-boyfriend lies
Oh he does it every time
It's just his permanent disguise
Yeah yeah but he's drop dead gorgeous
Don't go changing every time
Not for me to comprimise
You're still a friend of mine
Yeah yeah and you're drop dead gorgeous
You're forgiven
Yeah yeah
Drop dead
current mood: creative
current music: drop dead gorgeous by republica
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
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3:15 pm - standards.
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I have such high standards. for everything. I am constantly told how my grades aren't good enough and things like that so I keep trying to be superstudent because my grandma says I'm deffinatly a b or more student so she can't understand that I don't always understand. oh well. and guys..... qwll my complete lack of a love life explains that I can't settle. which is sort of a good thing but it doesn't feel like it. I just want like in tv. most of my friends wouldn't believe that I am a romantic but I am. more then they can know. I wish i could let them know all of me. The real me. I want a guy. someone who when I am sad will take my face in his hands and look deeply into my eyes and comfort me without even having to say anything.
It's just a simple line
I can still hear it all of the time
If i can just hold on tonight
I know that nothing
Nothing survives
Nothing survives
I think i'm turned around
I'm looking up
Not looking down
And when i'm standing still
Watching you run
Watching you fall
Fall into me
Am i making something worthwhile out of this place
Am i making something worthwhile out of this chase
I am displaced
I am displaced
And she's my friend of all friends
She's still here when everyone's gone
She doesn't have to say a thing
We'll just keep laughing all night long
All night long
Am i making something worthwhile out of this place
Am i making something worthwhile out of this chase
I am displaced
I am displaced
It's just a simple line
I can still hear it all of the time
If i can just hold on tonight
I know that no one
No one survives
No one survives.
current mood:  hopeful
current music: displaced by azure ray
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Sunday, December 11th, 2005
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11:07 am - yay
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I just wanted to make a post dedicated to the wonder that is cheyenne!! yay... shes a sweety so I heart her very much.... GO CHEYENN!!! haha I spelled it wrong lol... E.
Long as I remember
The rain been coming down
Clouds of mystery falling
Confusion on the ground
Good men through the ages
Trying to find a sun
And I wonder, still I wonder
Who'll stop the rain
I went down Virginia
Seeking shelter from the storm
Caught up in the fable
I watched the tower grow
About your plans for new year
Wrapped in golden chains
And I wonder still I wonder
Who'll stop the rain
Heard the singers playing
How I cheered for more
The crowd had rushed together
Trying to keep warm
And still the rain kept falling
falling on my head
And I wonder still I wonder
Who'll stop the rain
current mood: thankful
current music: who'll stop the rain by stereophonics
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, December 8th, 2005
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4:28 pm - tears
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ug. stupid tears.. I'm gonna get dehydrated I lose so many. so people like to talk about me... thats cool. the guy I liked for a year hates me cause apparently I'm mean to his girlfriend. and a whole bunch of people get the "vibe" that I hate them. apparently brooding gets me nowhere.
North light comes uninvited
Through the window to where you lie
Disjointed, dust and silence
Quite at a loss
I feel strange
I feel changed
I feel strange
Overcome
Overcome by you
I fell in too deep
But I learned to swim
In an undertow
I sense I'm giving in
I feel strange
I feel changed
I feel strange
Overcome
Overcome
I'm a little bit wiser
I'm a little bit sadder
I'm a little bit less you might have guessed
But if you could be staying
Tell me now darling I think I'm fading
I swear I'll never trade your life for a lie
I feel strange
I feel changed
I feel strange
Overcome
Overcome by you
Overcome by you
current mood:  crushed
current music: overcome by better than ezra
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, December 5th, 2005
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3:36 pm - sometimes...
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sometimes you just have a great week or weekend or even month.. then it crashes down around you and the good moments are dug into the ground. school is frusterating and people blow you off for their boyfriends... ne one who knows me knows who I'm talking about. parents just forget about them being understanding about anything. if your not a perfect little carbon copy of a stepford kid then you deserve punisment now matter what.. wtf that makes no sence lol. anyway. life=ubersuck
I wish I had what I need
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone
And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land
And all I see
It could never make me happy And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing
Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough
It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could now
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago
And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy
Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough
current mood: gloomy
current music: "let that be enough" by switchfoot
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, December 4th, 2005
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4:59 pm - wow tired lol
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so I'm finally home this fine weekend. I went to preform with the dance team on friday and erica spent the night. then I left the next morning for dance practice and then I went christmas shopping with jeannie and spent the night. now I am finally home this sunday with out any friends catching up on rest and eating really yummy pastrami! its just how every weekend should be. plus I don't think I thought about the stuff which has been bugging me lately all weekend which is good. I spent $171.00 at the mall eating at chili's wit jeannie and buying present for my friends and self lol. I bought myself some bad gal lash mascara from benifit which was 20 bucks and a 10 dollar hair thing. and I bought really nice presents but I'm not done yet...still have katie and part of a couple others to do. well I gotta go eat pizza. perfect end to the best weekend.
You paint a picture on the wall
Cause you've got a lot to tell me
but you don't think you could say it better oh baby
You're bringing up times I can't recall
And I'm sure they made your point
but I just can't seem to remember yeah
And I know you got the feeling
and I can't say I'm agreeing
with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
and the handset I've been giving
to the thoughts of my imagination
So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
that you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will
Cause I saw you walking down the hall
and I had a lot to tell you
but I didn't think you could say it better oh baby
You're good at makin me feel so small
and I know you made your point
but I just don't want to remember yeah
and I know you've got the feelin
and I cant say I'm agreein with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
and the hints that I've been given
to the thoughts of my imagination
Cause I'm dancing around
in your world of play
I'm takin my time to make sure you stay
I would give my life to make it okay yeah
So come on let me see...
current mood: calm
current music: amazing by josh kelly
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(comment on this)
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Friday, December 2nd, 2005
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5:21 pm - not much time
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okey dokey... today... I preformed dance at the schools winter sports con. it was good and I didn't mess up lol it was hot. and I'm about to go preform at the basketball game. after earlier I realized I love attention. There is this girl who I will not name if by chance she comes across this lol. we are in drama together and she has had two people that I know of so far come up and tell her she did a great job in the school play and she didn't know them. I was right there both times and they said nothing to me and we had the SAME FRICKEN AMOUNT OF LINES!!! and then after dance I had 2 of my friends tell me good job. and the girl I'm talking about has this friend that is also in our drama class and was giving both of us a ride and the other girl told my friend she looked so good and said nothing to me when I was sitting right there! grr. its not like I need to be the best but I'd like some acknowledgment sometime. know what I mean.. any way I gotta go take the curlers outta my hair.. hmm..
Night falls
I fall
And where were you?
And where were you?
Warm skin
Wolf grin
And where were you?
I fell into the moon
And it covered you in blue
I fell into the moon
Can I make it right?
Can I spend the night?
High tide
Inside
The air is dew
And where were you?
While I
I died
And where were you?
I crawled out of the world
And you said I shouldn't stay
I crawled out of the world
Can I make it right?
Can I spend the night
Alone?
current mood: sore
current music: blue by angie hart
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Thursday, December 1st, 2005
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6:13 pm - life or something like it.
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hm.. stupid english homework ... still. I'm really bored and I think I have a problem grrr. I talked about coffee loving in my last entry but I think its more serious then that lol! I had the best coffee the smorning from jeannie. and I ran out 10 mins into first period math and was tweaking for the rest of the class. clear through the day till I got home I was jittery and twitchy until I had more. anyways. really bored... still. I was watching katie grope anthony.. again until his wrestling coach pulled him away!!! I was like "yes your my hero!!!" lol. anyways. I keep rembering the days a year or so ago when I wasn't stressed out. latley I' can't find motivation to do my homework but if I get c's on my report card for semester my grandma won't let me do dance.. grrrr. but I'm still a bad focuser and I need to get better. I feel like I'm not close to anyone anymore either. Even the last time with Joy seemed slightly akward. and my guy situation.. still... hopeless. life sucks...(and yes I do realize I am a whiner lol! DEAL WITH IT!!! j/k!
Remember how they always seemed to khnow
we had the forest in our eyes
but the earth was in our clothes
and they thought we'd fall
not at all
so look back on the treasured days
we were young in a world that was so tired
though it's not what we wanted before
even the saints had to crawl from the floor
summers when the money was gone you'd sing
all you're little songs
that meant every thing to me
chorus:
and i'll remember you
and the things that we used to do
and the things that we used to say
i'll remember you
that way
remember how they tried to hold you down
and we climbed those towers
and looked down upon our town
and everything you hoped would last
just always becomes your past (it hurts)
summers when the money was gone you'd sing
all your little songs that meant everything
to me
repeat chorus
but then this world
slipped through my fingers
and even the sun seemed tired
i still cared
as i lowered you down
my heart just jaded
in that moment the earth made no sound
but you were there
you helped me lift my pain into the air
if it don't hurt you
it wont hurt me
it don't hurt me
then it wont hurt you
if it don't hurt you
it wont hurt me i know
current mood: drained
current music: Perfect memory by remy zero
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Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
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7:27 pm - all the coffee in the world....
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pretty much all the coffee in the world couldn't help me... stupid a.p history.. stupid essay. I have never really drank coffee other then flavored stuff from starbucks. But latley I've been going through cup after cup of coffee. black coffee.. nothing but sugar. life hasn't really gotten ne better latley so maybe that adds to the caffine. And my stupid obbsession with smallville and allison mack lol! shes always drinking coffee on the show and me being an extremly obsessive person started the habit to. I really wanna be an actress. now more then ever to escape my life. and I hope when I get the chance I can be on something cool like smallville... hmmm.
So give me Coffee and TV
History
I've seen so much
I'm goin blind
And i'm braindead virtually
Sociability
It's hard enough for me
Take me away from this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start all over again
current mood:  blank
current music: coffee and tv by blur
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, November 26th, 2005
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11:36 pm - hmm.
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well this is my first entry. lifes been weird lately. I've been strangly depressed. it seems like everything is wrong. but I feel bad for complaining to my friend cammi. It feels like a selfish thing. Maybe this is why I love acting so much...its escape from vanessa land and hello new person. I haven't talked to my best friend in a while. we go to different schools. its hard sometimes. we haven't hung in probably twice as long as we haven't talked. I made advanced drama this year and my schools dance team. and I'm suprised to say that drama seems more unfriendly then the dance team. I feel alone except for cammi. shes great.Plus I find myself questioning my acting ability a lot latley. And guys.. don't get me started. If ne one has everheard the song strange and beautiful by aqualung it pretty much describes my feelings towards the opposite sex. well its late and I suppose to be in bed.. but trust me... I'll be back to rant more another time lol!
I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.
Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me....
current mood: depressed
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